SPEAKER_01
0:20 Welcome back. 0:21 Monday and Tuesday, we talked about the first two things your wife or future wife needs from you as a leader. 0:27 First, and before you can even begin to lead your family well, she needs you to know that your relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important thing, and she needs you to make it the most important thing in your life. 0:38 Your relationship with the Lord will shape how you lead your family. 0:42 And yesterday we talked about the second thing your wife needs from you, which is your presence. 0:47 Your presence is required to lead well. 0:49 You can't lead your family from the sidelines. 0:51 You have to show up, get in the trenches, and be available to your wife and kids physically, spiritually, and emotionally. 0:58 Which leads us to the third thing your wife or future wife needs from you as a leader. 1:03 Leading your family well means leading sacrificially. 1:06 You may have to sacrifice some of the things you love in order to lead your family the way God has instructed you to lead. 1:13 Or I should probably restate that. 1:16 You will sacrifice some of the things you love in order to lead your family well. 1:20 This isn't a choice. 1:22 It is a mandate from God. 1:24 You choose to have a wife and kids. 1:26 God blesses you with a wife and kids. 1:28 You have been put in a leadership role. 1:31 Ephesians 5 25 instructs men to love and lead their wives, just as Christ is head of the church and gave himself up for it. 1:38 In 1 Corinthians 11 3, it says, Your authority is Christ, and you are the head of your wife. 1:44 Sacrificial leadership also means you are the lead disciple in your home. 1:49 We've already talked about leading your home by being present, by valuing and loving your wife. 1:55 You must also be equipped to disciple your family. 1:58 So many times I hear wives say their husbands don't read the Bible to their kids or lead them in prayer or talk about what it means to be a follower of Christ. 2:07 In Ephesians 6, 4, you are instructed to bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 2:13 In 1 Timothy 3, 4, and 5, you are called to rule your own house well. 2:18 Men, be the lead disciple in your home. 2:21 You pray for your wife, you pray for your kids, you speak scripture over them, ask questions, answer questions, speak Jesus over them. 2:29 Your words matter. 2:31 We will talk more about words tomorrow. 2:33 The best example of leading sacrificially is the ultimate sacrifice God made for us. 2:39 John 3 16 says, For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. 2:47 Men, are you leading your home sacrificially? 2:50 Are you doing the hard things you hate doing or don't want to do? 2:54 Are you missing out on a guy's trip because your family needs you to be home? 2:58 Are you saying no to that thing at work that will require more hours away from your family? 3:03 Are you being a good steward of your money for the provision and protection of your family and your future? 3:09 A godly man, husband, and father doesn't demand his own way. 3:14 He lays down his preferences, desires, comforts, and time and needs to lead the way. 3:21 In Mark 10, 43 through 45, Jesus told his disciples, Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. 3:33 For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. 3:41 I'm sure most of you have very demanding jobs. 3:44 You travel a lot or work long hours. 3:46 I get it. 3:47 Joby does too. 3:48 The last thing you have the energy for is to come home to a second job, feeding, bathing, kids, playing with the kids, and helping with homework. 3:56 Or maybe you've been talking in meetings all day and you cannot imagine having a deep conversation with your wife. 4:03 Yet she's been at home all day with kids and dying to have some adult conversation. 4:09 Leading sacrificially means putting all those legitimate reasons, I'm not saying they aren't legit and real feelings, but setting all those aside and stepping into your role sacrificially and putting your wife and family first. 4:23 Leading sacrificially means your wife needs come before your needs. 4:27 Philippians 2, 3, and 4 says, do nothing in selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves, looking not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 4:41 Husbands, if you are only thinking about what's in it for you, especially when it comes to your physical relationship with your wife, you will lose every single time. 4:51 For most wives, sex doesn't start in the bedroom. 4:54 It starts with taking out the trash or saying thank you and acknowledging the hard work she does for you and your family. 5:01 It means every now and then watching the movie she wants to watch or talking about what she's interested in and not just what you're interested in. 5:09 It means loving her without expectations or a personal agenda. 5:15 Your wife just wants to feel valued. 5:18 When the kids take and take and take all day with not a thank you or any acknowledgement of her sacrifices, she just wants someone, and that someone is you, to say, I see all the hard work you do for us. 5:32 It does not go unnoticed. 5:34 Thank you for making this a home. 5:36 And expect nothing in return. 5:40 The moment your sacrifice or your service becomes transactional is the moment it stops being biblical and Christ-like. 5:48 Jesus, King of King and Lord of Lords, did not want to be beaten, persecuted, and murdered for something he did not do. 5:55 In fact, he prayed and begged God so intensely that this cup be taken from him in the Garden of Gethsemane. 6:01 It says in Luke 22, 44 that he sweat like drops of blood. 6:06 But he said, Not my will, but your will be done. 6:10 And because of his love and sacrifice, which you did nothing to earn and for which he expected nothing in return, you received the free gift of salvation. 6:20 Jesus didn't see it as a burden to bear, but a gift to give. 6:25 Are there areas in your home where you know you are not leading sacrificially? 6:31 Are you treating your sacrifices as a burden? 6:34 Or do your sacrifices come with expectations of something in return? 6:39 Christ gave the perfect example of sacrificial love, and you are called to lead by choosing over and over to trust God and to put your wife's needs before your own. 6:51 So lead without limits or expectations. 6:54 Lead with her in mind first and see how God shows up in mighty ways in your marriage, for your marriage and for your family. 7:03 Amen.