SPEAKER_01
0:20 Welcome back. 0:21 This week we are discussing the five things your wife or future wife needs from you as a leader. 0:27 Yesterday, I talked about the first thing. 0:29 Your relationship with Jesus matters most. 0:32 You cannot lead if your own personal walk is not in line with the gospel. 0:36 I talked about what it means to love God first and to put your relationship with Him above everything else, even your relationship with your family. 0:44 And trust me, that is what your wife wants. 0:48 Everything just goes better when you pursue godliness and live out what biblical manhood looks like, starting with your personal relationship with Jesus. 0:57 You cannot shepherd your family if you are not being shepherded. 1:00 Getting in the Word, getting into Bible study, worshiping God, surrounding yourself with other believers and mat carriers, men that you trust to hold you accountable and walk with you through the hard stuff. 1:12 That is the first step to leading well. 1:15 Today we will talk about the second thing your wife needs from you as a leader, and that is she needs you to be present. 1:22 First Timothy 3.4 says, He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 1:31 Being a good leader requires you to be present. 1:36 Men, this means you can't watch your wife and family go to church while you go play golf or go fishing or hunting or whatever thing that might be. 1:45 Men, you cannot go to happy hour after work every day while your family eats dinner at home without you. 1:51 Men, you cannot sit in your recliner snoozing and watching TV while your wife feeds, bathes, and puts the kids to bed. 1:58 You cannot lead your family if you aren't present and involved. 2:03 You want and need respect from your wife, right? 2:06 It's right there in Ephesians 5.33. 2:08 Let the wife see that she respects her husband. 2:11 But what are you doing to earn her respect? 2:13 I mean, we are human. 2:15 We can't just will respect into existence. 2:18 We can pretend to respect our husbands, we can be nice, play the role of a respectful wife. 2:24 But does she truly respect you? 2:27 Have you earned it? 2:28 Men, to be respected in your house, you have to be present. 2:33 You need to be seen and heard. 2:36 Years ago, Reagan came home from first grade with lice. 2:41 And we've all been there. 2:42 It is so horrifying, like you did something wrong. 2:45 It feels like Child Protective Services deserves to come inspect your home. 2:48 You feel like you failed as a mom. 2:51 And the crazy thing is, it's 100% not our fault. 2:54 Apparently, lice loves clean hair. 2:57 So if you don't want your kids to get lice, you just don't wash their hair. 3:00 And I learned that the hard way. 3:02 But there's a place in Jacksonville, it's some kind of lice salon. 3:06 All they do is take care of lice. 3:09 And it's incredible. 3:10 You call them and you say, hey, my kid has lice, and they say, okay, we can get rid of it and guarantee that it won't come back. 3:17 But in order to get the guarantee, mom and all the kids have to be treated. 3:22 So I loaded up JP and Reagan. 3:25 JP was completely mortified, but I wasn't going to go through this again, so I made him come too. 3:30 We all went. 3:31 The three of us went. 3:32 And when we got there, and I signed all the paperwork and I paid a small fortune for this blessed convenience, I asked the lady, why doesn't my husband need to be treated to get the guarantee? 3:44 I mean, we all live in the same house. 3:47 And you know, at that point Joby was already bald, but she didn't know that, and I was just curious. 3:52 And the lady said, Well, the dads never end up getting lice from their kids. 3:58 I guess they just aren't around them enough to get it, so we felt like we didn't need to include it in the guarantee. 4:05 And at that point, my heart sank when she said that. 4:08 How sad. 4:09 That generally speaking, dads aren't around enough to get something that is so easy to get. 4:15 I mean, I've heard of schools shutting down because of lice outbreaks. 4:19 But nope, dad doesn't need to come in to get treated. 4:24 Now, I know there are many men who are very involved with your kids, and if you've gotten lice from them, then good job being a present dad. 4:32 But it was just so sobering to me that generally speaking, there aren't enough men present in their homes to include them in this one treatment money-back guarantee. 4:43 Statistically speaking, dads and husbands are failing at being present. 4:48 One in four children in the United States live in homes with only one parent. 4:53 The majority of those are fatherless homes, which means mothers are raising their children without husbands. 4:59 It is time to stand up and radically change this statistic. 5:04 Your wife needs you and your kids need you. 5:07 You cannot lead a home if you aren't willing to be present in the grimy, loud, chaotic moments. 5:13 Your family needs more from you than a paycheck. 5:16 They need your time, your attention, and your influence. 5:20 Biblical leadership in the home isn't standing on the sidelines yelling out the play-by-play. 5:26 Biblical leadership is gearing up, getting in the trenches, leading the troops, going first, and showing by example what it looks like to love Christ, love mom, and love your kids. 5:38 And if you are divorced or living the single dad life, this doesn't dismiss you. 5:43 You still need to do what it takes to show up, be present, love your kids well, and show them what a godly man and father looks like. 5:51 And you still honor their mother with your words and your actions toward her. 5:56 Men, show up. 5:58 Just show up. 5:59 We don't care if you do it right or if you can't figure something out. 6:03 We don't care if you're a little rusty at praying out loud or teaching the Bible. 6:07 We don't expect perfection. 6:09 We just want and need you to be there. 6:12 We live in a culture where more and more children are growing up without a father who is present in the day to day. 6:18 There is a reason why you hear the phrase daddy issues. 6:21 No one ever says mommy issues. 6:23 Your influence and your love matter. 6:26 The way you show up and love your wife and you let your kids see it and feel it matters. 6:32 The way you spend time with your kids matters. 6:35 If God has blessed you with the privilege of being a husband and father, don't neglect it. 6:40 Don't sit on the sidelines calling out plays. 6:43 If a man lying in his deathbed is asked, is there anything you wish you had done differently? 6:49 He will never say, I wish I had golfed more or worked more or spent more time at the bar with my buddies. 6:56 He will always say, I wish I had spent more time with my family. 7:01 Men, your presence matters to us. 7:04 The way you show up for your family will leave a lasting impression long after your kids are gone. 7:10 The way you show up for your wife now will shape how your relationship grows, how she respects you, and how she will trust you until death to you part. 7:21 Now go and be present. 7:23 Love your wife, lead by example, and as it says in 1 Timothy 3:4, manage your family well, see that your children obey you, and do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 7:35 Amen.